i realised i am really out of touch from this world.
i've no idea what's happening to things around me.
my band. my friends' lives.
it seems that i am only preoccupied with myself. and myself.

perhaps.
i'm simply too lazy to care.
or perhaps,
too afraid to care.

but apparently,
things still get to me.
haha.

ex-gossip queen still gets the gossips
but i don't even get the geez of it man.

sh*t.

so i still don't know the big hoo-huh.
i shld just simply fulfill all the responsibilities and not get my butt into all the affairs.
and try to survive for the next 6mths.

everything will be over soon. real soon.

mrs chang called me to help up at the kindergarden ystd.
i was like COOL. but i am simply TOO busy with other jobs and commitments.

it was like 1yr back when i went to work at the kindergarden.
all those kids. all those k1s last yr are graduating this year.
:D
bet my life shld simply revolve around kids.
that will definitely make my life much MORE better.
no more conflicts, no more opinionated people. no more untruths
just simple-minded little kids.

it's was 1 full yr ystd. 291105
it was dumb of me.
but i still wanna rem it.
i am just being me.
time to get a life.
it's not my fault what.

haha.

i've a feeling that my blog is MUCH too colourful.
maybe blogs shld be just in black and white
since it's so much a place for ranting, rantings and MORE rantings

but it's ok
it shall be colourful now until my mood changes.
:D

UPDATESSSS!
my fourth day at work!
and the number is SO apt.
4 = shi4= shi3
which actually means DEADDDD!

haha! i've completely NO idea what's wrong with the manager.
first, he pulled me aside with cy(this captain-to-be)
and then we just rotted while talking to the bartender.
Afterwards, we walked arnd and into the ballroom again!

HE ASKED ME TO SERVE THE VIPS FOR THE NIGHT!

ohmy lah.

i am SO experienced WHAT.

my job is then pouring drinks, clearing plates, serving food, pull the bride's skirt and blah blah.
some sort like the normal table but with MORE responsibility.

others say VIP job is slack. i think it's NOT!

but actually i was so excited to pull the bride's skirt.
i did it when i was 10. a fat bridesmaid.

anw, sa's prom is at grand copthorne.
i'm gonna be there man! :D
how cool is that! SUPER COOL!

time for guitar and dental!
ciaos! :D

bebacksoon!

back! :D

i am back with 4 molar bands on my molars!
2nd step to putting braces!
full completion on FRI! with a two hrs long jaws opener.
cos i am so bloody un-free )):

hmm.

life's getting quite monotonous.
work too.
tho' i reckon that i'm becoming a BETTER waitress! ((:

serious.

so i went for work ystd. i was quite excited actually :D
but i was dutifully late but i still got paid for the 1/2 hr that i was late!

WOOHOOOO!

yesterday's dinner was way cool.

it was FARJAR SEC'S PROM NIGHT!

and it DEFINITELY reminds me of my prom night 1 year back.

so cool lah.

the school's prom night at 5 stars hotel man.

and the prom king and queen's clothes and hairdo are proudly sponsored by

1. busstop at far east place
2. fourskin
3. blah blah blah.

oh my lah. not rich WHAT!

so i got to see a lot of cute lil' boys. pretty girls. teachers. aunties. deejays. and lots of balloons.

and serious, the deejay is REALLY funny. i can't help laughing while serving.

and the happy news of that day:

I DEBORN-ED A SEA BASS!

it's not an acheivment. cos it's a GREAT acheivement ((:

cool right.

but i got the evil captain again. mr lawrence.

haha! he's SUPER evil with some sort of cheekiness.

he threatened to cut my hair cos' my hair is so not-short-no-long and i always leave it in a mess.

oh man lah! but he said i got nice hairstyle but NOT for banquet. he's actually quite nice, cos' he found my pass which i accidentally dropped it. or else i need to pay 20bucks for the pass and the key.

thank God ((:

so i made new friends ystd.

1. my new partner, keith
2. jasmine and friends.
3. the captains-to-be. cy and shawn. shawn is that malay lookalike cute guy! -beams- [but not exactly friends cos' i think they still thrive on bullyin newcomers! and cy still owed me 2bucks.]

i ate my dinner at an ungodly hour. 12 plus in the morning.

i am gng to get REAL fat at this rate )):

selling school bags make me realise kids are REALLY adorable

[not as if i don't know but they really make me smile and giggle]

and sitting and doing nothing is a virtue, a testing of patience.

i need MORE money!!

there should be a statue of limitation on grief. A rule book that says it it all right to wake up crying, but only for a month. That after forty-two days you will no longer turn your heart racing, certain you have heard her call out your name. That there will be no fine imposed if you feel the need to clean out her desk; take down her artwork from the refrigerator; turn over a school portrait as you pass - if only because if cuts you fresh again to see it. That it is okay to measure the time she has been gone, the way we once measured her birthdays.

my mother let me have the picture of Anna. But i didn't frame it; I put it into an envelope and sealed it and stuffed it far back into a corner drawer of a filing cabinet. It's there, just in case one of these days i start to lose her.

my sister's keeper Jodi Picoult

;

read this book. it's REAL nice.

i love reading.

it never fails to make me realise that there are so many different disappointments in life, different kind of grief and definitely happy moments. reading simply allows you to be lead into the setting, the atmosphere and the people involved. the degree of involvement really depends on how the writer wants it to be to acheive different kinds of responses from the readers.

it's really a matter of preferance for reading.

there are like different kind of genres also.

chick flicks are for my dearest classmates man!

sometimes i rather indulge in books and to be alone than to be with many people in which i can't even seem to realise my significance for being there.

but that's not the point lah.

cos in this year, i've learnt that being alone is cool.

being a loner needs lots of courage.

4 more.

it really doesn't matter much.

i think it's time to stop.

i'm fine with everything.

all the best.

IDIOT'S GUIDE FOR WAITRESSING PART 2

:D

and my hands are still aching like madness.

sunday

spare the details of the church service and the naps that i am trying so hard to slot into my busy schedule for the day. i pretty much have a disturbing night as i was still having my waitressing's hangover.

serious.

for the whole night, i dreamt of all the guests i served and all my managers and my colleagues and even dishes, bowls, chopsticks, serving gears, table cloth, red wine and MORE redwine and the tramautising uncle i served.

the entire night was filled with unrest and fear. fearful that sunday night's banquet will be much more screwed up.

really wanna stay in bed but church is smth NOT to be compromise ((:

so i went back to work dutifully. though i so much hated it.

i saw the few people i know

1. the twins ((: one is bin jian jian (face sharpsharp) and the other is binyuanyuan (face round round)
2. guanhao
3. aunty alena
4. wuqiong and her friend
5. that manager's xiaodi (the rest calls him cy)
6. ginny's cousin and gf.
7. the few regular aunties who never fail to rush out and cut queues
8. some nice aunties! ((:
9. the bespectacled bartender uncle
10. this xiaodi who is looks like a malay and i think he's cute.
11. these 3 ahbengs
12. and some china girls

you know, this hotel has so many banquet waitress and it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to remember all of them.

so i thought i would die if guanhao is not going to partner with me.

but thank God,

i got aunty alena :D

she's so experienced.

and it's also a blessing cause one of the tables that we were assigned to is RESERVED!

HOORAY! :D

so we were in charge of one table each.

the usual stuff. find all the plates, fork, spoon, knives, round trays, long trays and everything lah and HIDE THEM! it's a MUST to hide them or else we will be scolded. and if we don't take, there will be tons of things to do when the dinner commence. hide behind the side tables, hide at the staircase (that's the extreme).

NO COCKTAIL FOR ME TODAY! :D

no heavy round trays :D

so i just rotted in the ballroom for the guest to arrive.

and thank God again! my table got 11 people!

SO I NEED NOT PORTION FOR THEM! :D except for sharks' fin soup and noodles and desserts

but u see, in the end i only get to serve shark's fin soup cos by the end of the dinner, they are TOO full to eat, so they requested to serve themselves ((:

and i reckon, i am really getting to like this job a little. i think the people are real nice and chinese guests (those not so high class one lah) are really nice. they are not used to being served so they rather serve themselves.

i also need to serve drinks for aunty alena's guests. and one of them worked as a banquet waiter before too. so he was commenting me for being so hardworking.

he: jc people don't really love to do these kind of jobs, haha, you are like me!"

me: oh. haha. yah.

but it's quite true. this is another conversation.

guanhao: u in sec sch arh? or poly? or ite?

me: ermx. jc.

gh: HUH! jc pple don't do this job one lor

me: here got no jc pple arh? then jc pple work where?

gh: here all poly and ite one what. jc pple do computer stuff lah.

me: hmm. ok. but i am in jc what. haha.

oh. and i wrote gh a thank you note. but he still gimme the dont-try-to-make-me-do-everything look. HAHA!! ((:

so at the end of the day i asked him.

me: so how was day w/o me? relieving? happy?

gh: not bad. but like very quiet leh. not livening one.

oh man. i was SO TOUCHED ok. he finally appreciated me. for once.

as the bartender has said, i will learn to love my job.

but by that time, it's also a time for me to leave.

it's always like this.

and hopefully, i will get to deborn a fish this week.

these 3 days,

i learnt a lot. met a lot of different pple while working.

both as a waitress and as a bags seller.

and i reckon. smart pple are REALLYsnobbish and this includes me.

and the rest are actually more willing to work and climb slowly from the bottom as seen by my managers and my employer (mrgoh) and the rest of my colleagues.

in fact, i admire them but i do wish that they would like to further impove themselves esp in s'pore. it's REALLY necessary.

ok, just slighty important.

but i really do like hardworking ahbengs now.

and not snobbish rich kids like those i see outside zouk when i finished work.

okie. i am being overgeneralising.

my point is, humility is good.

and i really love witnessing the union of the a couple.

especially during their walk-in into the ballroom with the romantic music.

i was so touched ystd that i nearly cried.

this entry is long. do enjoy :D

`i have learnt that there's a time to stop

a time to let go.

a time to cut it off.

and that was the time.

I WILL NOT HOLD MY WEDDING DINNER

IN A HOTEL!

a buffet will be fine. NOT a NINE course dinner!

NEVER.

seriously.
being a BANQUET waitress sucks big time.
and i'm only referring to BANQUET.

and fast food waitressing totally pales in comparison
even though i have to do the DIRTIEST job like climbing into a rubbish bin.

the money it's definitely NOT worth the energy i put in.

both gin and i are willing to STUDY HARDER next year so we won't end up to be a waitress.

it's always wise to have a lot of working experience
but seriously, banquet waitressing is something you definitely shld NOT try.
listen to me.
i start working since sec 2.

so i started work on fri.
it was a western dinner for aussie companies. (some prize presentation)
and cool,
the guest of honour was VIVIAN BALAKHRISNAM!
i was practically staring at him when he was on stage, so well-spoken, so well-dressed
SO MAN!

sadly,
that's the only thing that was comforting to me.
i was serving this table with lots of ang mohs and a few chinese.
they are from this woodhead wilson company

[this entry is gonna be REAL LONG!]

so ok,
back to my point.
i poured red wine glasses after glasses,
white wine glasses after glasses.
served food from top to bottom.
served from right to left.
served ladies first.
served finish one table before proceeding.
top up drinks.
clear dish.
top up drinks.
clear dish.
clear everything LAH!

basically, u'll think that it sounds SLACK!
try it man.
and wait. this is only an appetizer for me.

CHINESE DINNER IS A KILLER!

cocktail was not too bad.

all you have to do, is to carry this tray with lotsa drinks and serve it.

it's now that i realised, water/liquid is super heavy. all the particles.

before cocktail was to prepare ALL the plates, trays, fork spoon, bowls and whatsoever lah.

and boy, the pple are REAL KIASU. they took like MORE than they need, so they won't need to keep working back and forth from the kicthen and cool, they left me with nothing. so i followed a few of them and ransacked the whole hotel for spoons, plates, trays and whatever. and rushed to do cocktail.

FIRST DISH.

the bloody cold plate. the waiter and waitresses have to do this presentation walk in. we were asked to be there 5 mins before the walk-in. so we were outside the ballroom, holding the HUMONGOUS plate and wait, and wait, and wait, and waited.

furthermore, the plate itself weighs a ton and the food make the whole dish weighs 10,000 tons. and we have to carry it looking super professional. one hand below and blah blah.

in my opinion, the walk in was the best.

the rest of the day is screwed.

but luckily i've gotten myself a WONDERFUL partner. haoguan.

he's so nice. but he broke my tender heart.

cos he started WHINING when he knew he's gng to partner with me.

as he will end up doing ALL the stuff, but it was rather true.

he did all the serving and all that i did was clearing plates, replace drinks, clearing plates again and top up drinks. i didn't even touch the fish and didn't even learn how to deborn.

aiyeah.

i got so much things to blog abt.

but i'm SO tired

cos i started working selling bags at 9.30am

till the end of waitressing at 11.30pm

but that's NOT THE END OF THE STORY!!

the main highlight is still unsaid.

i will continue soon. on mon perhaps.

cos i'm so tired

and there's church tmrw.

:D

but sadly, there's banquet tmrw.

)):

i hope i get someone nice like guanhao

*cross fingers*

pple i get to know!

1) guan hao.

2) the western dinner's barman who reassured me that i will learn to love my job.

3) aunty alena

4) wu qiong

5) barmen for today's banquet. they are VERY nice.

6) two bloody guys who kept laughing at me. one guy who laughed at my chi.

7) few china girls.

8) this REAL nice guy(ah beng) who helped me ALOT.

9) all the managers (who are not exactly my friends) and some of their xiao dis.

done. i am having BACKACH, MUSCLEACHE, LEG CRAMPS.

whatever lah

be back for idiot's guide for waitressing-PART 2

BACK!
my one hour became one full day! :D

i think it's pretty much ok since i'm blogging for myself even tho i know pple DO visit my blog!

so i am back after spending one full day in school for the finale of all the lit lectures. miss teo conducted 6 lectures to finish the king lear book and i only went for 2 lectures.

CHEERS! lear is finally OVER! ((:

so today i went for the last lecture for the LEAR MOVIE!

i can't find the rest of the pictures.

internet sucks.

i think i am biased.

i always feel that the good pple looks good.

but i am SO WRONG!

i nearly cried lah! please.

the kingdom and palaces turned out to be stonewalls! there was this map that turns out to be a carpet! regan managed to kill a servant with one small hairpin which is MORE powerful than a sword AND regan and goneril have such BIG HUMONGOUS BOOBS!

i used to think kent might be old and macho like this (look below)

so w r o n g!

haha! much more to critic.

as a lit student, you are SUPPOSED to criticise.

anw, for edmund as the sexy bastard, he fails terribly.

but edmund looks sinister.

so i stayed on for paper 8!

and miss chua wants us to criticise this poem

Happiness

So early it's still almost dark out.

I'm near the window with coffee,

and the usual early morning stuff

that passes for thought.

When I see the boy and his friend

walking up the road

to deliver the newspaper.

They wear caps and sweaters,

and one boy has a bag over his shoulder.

They are so happy

they aren't saying anything, these boys.

I think if they could, they would take

each other's arm.

It's early in the morning,

and they are doing this thing together.

They come on, slowly.

The sky is taking on light,

though the moon still hangs pale over the water.

Such beauty that for a minute

death and ambition, even love,

doesn't enter into this.

Happiness. It comes on

unexpectedly. And goes beyond, really,

any early morning talk about it.

Raymond Carver

you are SUPPOSED to feel happy after reading this according to cheryl!

haha!

nth much said!

except we read this really humorous prose abt a pea in the ear

i love grotesque humour and black humour!! ((:

sinister.

so much for being a lit student.

read this on a book; my sister's keeper by jodi picoult.

"shooting stars are no stars at all. they are just rocks that enter the atmosphere and catch fire under friction. what we wish on, when we see one, is only a trail of debris."

"do all the wonderful things happen when we are not aware of them?"

"why are terms of endearment always foods? Honey, cookie, sugar, pumpkin. It's not like caring about someone is enough to actually sustain you."

and the last quote was said by a 13 yr old girl.

who knows so much more than me.

but that's a pessimistic view,

cos i think that those food we used to showforth love to our loved ones are SWEET stuff. sweet stuff ain't supposed to sustain us, it's supposed to make us feel happy,

just like what chocolates do!

endorphines generator! :D

as time goes by,

our love is like the ancient love songs

that are slowly forgotten.

no longer reverberate through the mountains

went for electric lesson after a hiatus of like one month plus.
and i feel that this lesson was the MOST fruitful one.
i still rem my first lesson- my aims, my dreams, my motives.

but that's not the point.

so when i was having my lesson today
i asked myself again

"do i really love playing electric?"

and the answer is

YES with no other motives.

it's more than just fulfilling dreams
it's the adrenaline that i've lost playing my the symphonice band.
i still DO enjoy playing in a band just a little.

ZEANPOK! hurry learn your drums!!! :D

slacking at home feels retarded. i feel like my hamster.
simply being a couch potato.
when next week starts, i will be as busy as a bumblebee tho!
work work work!

and i miss watching movies.
i used to watch like 2 movies per week.

everyone watched the emily rose show le.
who wanna watch with me?

i want outings soon!
trio, nienie, rojak, OH-5ive-EH-OH-ONE

GF's outing tmrw! ((:

i think i am getting old.

)):

haha! :D

i bought a new book, new shirt, new skirt.
((((((((((((((((:

but that skirt is for work

aiyeah.
i'm tired.
and lazy.
and fat.


who on earth loves lizard?
i love cows though
i know siew loves porcupine.
we all love north oak pine.
i wanna play mahjong.
kaijie just learn how to play bridge.
we all love ted hughes.
we are called pibrock
but dora prefers to kill a mocking band.


HAHA! if u read this. means u are damn bored
cos' u just read my whole list of nonsense.

i am so tired. i think i outta my mind.

money's coming tomorrow :D
i needa WORK HARDDDD.

op was quite a wonderful experience.
serious :D
i think i enjoyed myself tremendously
nj004 ((:

the rest was shit.
[and i don't mean the rest of the groups of op but smth else]


angst.
disappointment.
deceit.
conceit.

whatever.
maybe it's just me.


i'm not vain.
i'm just concious.

My blog is worth $23,146.14.
How much is your blog worth?

haha! just saw this on geraldine's blog.

cool. i am a rich kid ((:

anw, it's in US dollars.

in case you can't read the words,

it writes,

my blog is worth $23,146.14.

how much is your blog worth?

TRY IT! :D

I GOT MY NIENIE SHOES DONE! ((:

this is the front.

this is the nienie logo! :D

beams! i'm so proud of ginBABE.

she flew down to where i'm gng to meet her and when she's here, i feel so artistically inclined unlike my previous attepmts were just plain doodling!

and i've decided to make a pair for my sis,

since both our feets are the same size,

so I GOT AN EXTRA PAIR OF SHOES TOO! :D

i've already thought of what i am gng to draw for me and my sis!

COWS! COWS! COWS!

-moos-

i told stanley that i was drawing shoes,

instead of heartwarming encouragement.

he said, "SO BORED ARH! NOTHING TO DO!"

thanks WHAT.

but it's so cute to wear a clique shoe that is all drawn by yourself.

and once i get the hang of it,

i am going to sell the shoes i draw!

if u guys want,

tag, sms or whatever.

and tell me the base colours, type of canvas shoes

and what kind of designs.

and WE WILL DO IT FOR U! :D

we come in vans-lookalike slipons and ballerina lookalike school shoes.

we do sneakers too, but it's more challenging. so it will be more ex.

a pair for $17.80 :D

and wait, we sell handmade earrings,

bracelets and necklaces!

We will only commence on making them after our OP!

we do take orders now!

thanks ((:

i feel like a young entrepreneur

haha!

whatever.

but i doubt anyone will tell me to make for them lah.

*sniff*

if i did not become a young entrepreneur,

i will become a workaholic,

cos' i found 2 jobs! :D

no more demure kindergarden teacher job

but a waitress and a vendor who sells school bags

at least i get to earn money. to pay for my hk trip and that pullover.

i've completely no control about what i am feeling, am going to feel and whatsoever.

i hate the feeling when my heart starts to shrink and contract.
i have the exact same feeling when watching fullhouse, a kor serial which is quite nice.

but that's not the point,

i hate it when i can't control that contraction
when i am acting all nonchalant.
while i am pretending,
i can't stop my inner being from feeling all the pain and hurt.

HAHA!
what a tragedy.

and my rib cage hurts occassionally.
i think my ribcage is either TOO small for my heart
or the heart pumps SO hard that it hurts my ribcage.
this reminds me of paul and his heart that pumps so hard.

haha.
maybe i got a hole in my heart too.

LALALA!

oh and i suddenly rem smth.

ystd, being a kind soul as usual.
i went up to this lady who was carrying truckloads of vegatables after coming out from ntuc.
she looked like she need LOTS of help, so i went up and said:

me: Hi auntie, do u need help to carry?
and she didn't reply and STARED at me as if i was going to ask her to donate money or rob her.

so i asked again.

me: auntie, do u need me to help u?
then she continued staring and started walking away from me, STILL STARING

i was a lil disappointed maybe a lil upset. and walked away.

so much for being a kind soul.
and this was not the first time.
i helped this blind uncle and EVERYONE STARED at me as if i was gng to rob him or smth.

ohmy lah.

at least the uncle was appreciative! :D
some other grandma that i helped to carry her stuff also.

anddddd the best was the girl who works in candy empire and she gave me a tube of strawberry sweet cos' i once sheltered her in the rain before.

this is what i call appreciative people.

not like that auntie.

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you're gone, my fault, I'm sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it's too late to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I've made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
you made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

Don't Love You No More (I'm Sorry) Craig David.


sometimes i really wonder am i the only one upset in this world.
but obviously not.
but what matters more is whether are you still upset?

i am (had always been) guarding my heart,
defending myself
with a big fat golden lock
and a humongous antique key.

but you see,
i feel that i'm safe from all elements of nature now.
behold the wind, rain, sun or whatsoever.
i need no protection but a loin cloth. [whateverr. LEAR]

in an enivornment i am in now,
there's no need for a big fat golden lock.
maybe i am being judgmental,
or perhaps i've keeping my soul to myself.
i just feel that for this entire year,
i have been protecting myself from the world.

and now,
when i am trying to open up,
i realised i am afraid of everyone.

honestly,
i have A HUGE phobia with making guy friends.

but that's not the point.

i can't wait for 291105
and i can celebrate for no particular reason.

sigh.


for every tribulations,
pray and search for God's words.
He will be there to show us light,
when we lean upon His understanding.

dear Lord, teach me to be more like you.
and to let go.

i am blogging at like 7.31 am
and was woken up suddenly at 7.00 am!

guess what.
my bro's phone was stolen.
and the phone was IN MY HOUSE!!

ohmy LAH!

the IDIOT was so smart
[u see i must emphasise his totally ingenious plan to steal my bro's phone]
u see, we lived along the corridor and my bro's room is on the side of the corridor.
so this smart IDIOT was like secretly opening the window to check if he could steal anything. so my bro was SO lucky as he have forgotten to lock his window for ONE pathetic night and the IDIOT was SO equipped that he came with a metal hook, a bamboo pole and maybe borrowed a chair from my neighbour's hse.

and P O O F.

my bro's phone is GONE.


my dad even suggested that the idiot will try EVERY window and
used a torchlight to search in the dark!

it's like

IMAGING SOMEONE LOOMING

OUTSIDE UR BEDROOM WHEN U ARE SLEEPING!

it just bring shivers up my spine.

u see, that's why i always ask my mum to rent out this damn flat

and move to the condo instead

I AM NOT BEING STEREOTYPE

but FLAT is REALLY NOT SAFE.

so my point is,

please lock ur windows even u are VERY tired.

i wished that this bloody idiot will get caught,

since u are so smart to leave the metal hook right at my hse

and the bloody bamboo pole at my lift running

and i call this

INTRUSION OF PRIVATE PROPERTY

u needa reflect.

u burglar.

i love my nienie family.

i love my ginBABE my jeanPOK

:D

sigh.
i just wished there were more time to show consistency in our friendship.
and to know more about one another.
but it's still fine
to just hang out with one another :D

and that's the way it is.
when we have just want one another's companionship and nothing else.


"Don't shed a tear, cause it rains in heart.
If you do, I'll wipe them away.
And if you need me, I'll carry the sun over the miles,
just to see the sunshine on your face."

i am feeling a lil depressed now.

junying, you are such a darling!

i just feel that my life now is such a facade.
but maybe it's what i wanna be.
to be free. to be liberated.
but i miss those days rushing down to nowhere from school.

i just feel this contrasting/contradicting feelings within me.
to be happy or not to be.

dunno lah.
i can't think for nuts now.

)):

i just wanna have a good night slp tonight
and NO fantasydreams.
NO!!
then i would have to convince myself that it's A DREAM.
sigh.


stop this bloody head from dreaming.

whatever.

ilove. i love. i love. my past.
and I CAN'T STOP HARPING ON IT.

OH-5-EH-OH-1 is DARNNNNN COOOOOOOOOL! ((:

wait till others upload the pictures and i will show how cool we are!!!

-beams-

in case, for those who didn't take lit,

our band name "Pibroch" is one of ted hughes' most lamenting poem.

the name says it all! :D

but we are not playing a lament. but the name is COOOOOOL!

and honestly, that's my fave poem and of cos, DEHORNING.

blahblah.

but WAIT that's NOT the point!

the point is,

i realised mr leong and miss lim are YOUNG AT HEART.

hopefully it's not a hasty genralisation.

i think i have a love-hate relationship with mr leong.

OH WHATEVERR

and

i also realised tt my class is SUPER SPONTANEOUS! (sibilent alliteration.)

BAHBAH! ((:

i am on sky highhhhhhhhh and no one's gonna bring me down.

maybe except PW!

-faints-

the adrenaline on stage was fabulous!

and our performance was GOOD too.

tho, it might not be so. but ya, i still think SO!

yay. kayjee suggested that we go professional.

BULL SHIT.

<

LALALA!

fake rockers are still ROCKERS! ((:

we will, we will ROCK you!

last night, i dreamt of the impossible.

something i know will never be true.

but it was so vivid.

and i wish i will rather believe it's true

but now, i am different.

i know i am aware of the harshness of reality.

and i know i just hafta get out of fantasy.

bye my fantasy world.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNICE ((:

kbox-ed today :D

seriously, i've NEVER been into kbox.

and I AM NOT SUAKU singing karaoke is DEFINITELY NOT my hobby!

but wait,

WE ALL LOVE KBOX NOW!!

cos

WE DON'T SING,

WE SCREAM -yells-

HAHA

what an irony,

my previous entry was abt NOT SPENDING

but now, i am blogging abt how i spent my money kboxing.

but u see that's not the point,

cos it's EUNICE's BIRTHDAY! :D

our rojak's yearly events ((:

i feel that kbox's room shld be SOUND PROOF!

haha!

i am having kbox hangover man.

photocraze today.

guy crazy today.

breakvoice day today too! :D

05A01's performance TOMORROW! :D

-beams-

WE are gonna TRY to rockkkk.

tho i AM scared, but we guys are great no matter what.

:D

ARTS FAC is COOOOOOOOOOOOL! ((:

haha. so u see,

pple DO agree with me that the pullovers are redundant

but ya. we go with the flow,

we follow the majority.

and it's OK.

maybe regina is right,

perhaps when i looked back

i will regret not making my life in nj a fulfilling one

but i am LOVING my class NOWWWW!

all those hilarious shits.

:D

and seriously,

i even prefer kaijie more than A LOT of other people! :D

I LOVE MY CLASS!!

even regina said my class seems fun! ((:

ya. regina is my GOOOD FRIEND.

cos she is like my ONLY FRIEND in band

and this is NOT pathetic

i love REGINA! ((:

thanks pple who tagged

i was filled with angst ystd.

but i am OK ((: already

all i need is a break from the school

i am scared.

HAHA

sometimes i seem to be

suppressing my true nature

to follow the world

and people see the

wrong side of me.

i am getting paraniod
i am becoming a worrywort
i am scared of everyone in band.
)):

i've no idea why,
but i am having a TERRIBLE phobia of them

haha.
what an irony.

anw,
i need a job desperately.
my band is sucking money from me
i really don't want that pullover or whatever
is it really that neccessary?
i bet many pple also feel that it's unneccesay,
but they are not willing to voice out
since the MAJORITY of them feel that they need it.
so let it be. i am nobody.
i am going to slog my holidays away
just to earn p a t h e t i c bucks to pay for all the stuff

people were shocked when i said i got NO MONEY to pay for the trip
do i look that rich?
maybe i do. since me and lyd always like to fake rich
but honestly speaking, those money i spent are ALL my savings,
and those i've earned while part-timing.
do u know HOW HARD is it to work?
and how it feels to start working at the age of 14?
if u guys are clueless, then don't judge me
and i spent cos' i feel that i've worked hard for it.

but now,
for the hk trip,
MY MUM IS PAYING FOR IT!!
and i just feel the pain when she has to fork out such large sum for me to enjoy.
sigh.
and what abt the other expenses i will need to pay during the trip?
i just need to get my butt down on serious PART TIME JOBS
and to schedule BANDpracs, outings, volunteer work into my whole holiday.
sigh.


money makes my world go round
it's always about money.
sigh.

i wish i can print money
and i won't mind buying a THOUSANDS or even MILLIONS of pullovers.
of different designs and colours
sorry people


and sorry if we neglected you.
sometimes i will tend to overlook things and people's feelings.
SORRY LOTS :D


sigh. black still rocks.

i can't judge.
cos' i'm guilty of that.
sigh.
i wished i didn't do all that.
hopefully, you were be sensible.


and YOU are seriously getting on my nerves!
whenever i think of you, i will flare up and
my heart pumps faster,
my blood gushes as my whole body tenses
and i believe one day i will die of
h y p e r t e n s i o n,
because of you.
and i can't believe you are coming up with us.
i am going to faint man.
stop moodswinging like a woman, for heaven's sake.
there are times when you are so nice that i thought the sun rises from the west or even north.
i think you are nice,
but maybe not to me.
and that's fine with me.
3 cheer for you, well done.
do you think i am someone to mess with?
definitely NO!

ARGHHHHHHHHH!

enough of ranting.
and i feel that i should be called what miss teo calls edmund;
a SEXY BASTARD
but this term is so wrong for me.
i really hate ranting
but I AM REALLY PISSED.
and i am going to push all the blame to you!

i need to keep my cool
i am getting rather impulsive lately.

spent my whole sunday evening sitting in simply bread talking to lyd and sarah.
what's with crescent and crescent's culture?
it seems a totally awesome environment for us,
but apparently some pple hate our lifestyle, our attitude our behaviour.
we knew it all along, we just chuck it away with our whatever attitude.
in short,
love us or hate us.
we love to be crescentians.

what's wrong with everyone?
is there a problem with my face or is there a problem with you people
whatever 'kiampa' face or 'kaobei' face or what 'dao' face lah.
i am not an idiot who smiles at nothing when i am alone
so as to not have that 'kiampa' face or 'kaobei' face or what 'dao' face lah.
if you think i am dao,
you just don't know me well enough.

serious.
i am filled with angst.
seriously.
i am going to die of hypertension soon
if not, i will be dying because i am surrounded with self-righteous people
and incessants comments from others.

shoot me in the head please.


oh what a life.

but i am happy cos miss fong asked whether i am in IP!!! -beams-

i look sec 3!! :D

i miss jeanpokpok and ginny )):

i miss a truckloads of people.

i totally won't miss anyone now.
maybe just some of my classmates

i am not being mean here
but I HAD ENOUGH.