i've completely no control about what i am feeling, am going to feel and whatsoever.

i hate the feeling when my heart starts to shrink and contract.
i have the exact same feeling when watching fullhouse, a kor serial which is quite nice.

but that's not the point,

i hate it when i can't control that contraction
when i am acting all nonchalant.
while i am pretending,
i can't stop my inner being from feeling all the pain and hurt.

HAHA!
what a tragedy.

and my rib cage hurts occassionally.
i think my ribcage is either TOO small for my heart
or the heart pumps SO hard that it hurts my ribcage.
this reminds me of paul and his heart that pumps so hard.

haha.
maybe i got a hole in my heart too.

LALALA!

oh and i suddenly rem smth.

ystd, being a kind soul as usual.
i went up to this lady who was carrying truckloads of vegatables after coming out from ntuc.
she looked like she need LOTS of help, so i went up and said:

me: Hi auntie, do u need help to carry?
and she didn't reply and STARED at me as if i was going to ask her to donate money or rob her.

so i asked again.

me: auntie, do u need me to help u?
then she continued staring and started walking away from me, STILL STARING

i was a lil disappointed maybe a lil upset. and walked away.

so much for being a kind soul.
and this was not the first time.
i helped this blind uncle and EVERYONE STARED at me as if i was gng to rob him or smth.

ohmy lah.

at least the uncle was appreciative! :D
some other grandma that i helped to carry her stuff also.

anddddd the best was the girl who works in candy empire and she gave me a tube of strawberry sweet cos' i once sheltered her in the rain before.

this is what i call appreciative people.

not like that auntie.