i am just going to let this last for
just one more night.


i have this feeling that my body is failing. serious
my jaws seem to be dislocated cos' it hurts, my back hurts [which is bloody near my kidneys], my stomach bloats and aches for like zillion times a week.[i'm in love with poi chai pills!] and i pulled (displaces?) a vein on my poor feet, so now the vein moves when i scratch my feet [but actually i enjoyed the movin' vein, some kind of stinging sensation.]

haha.
i heard this joke on the radio
;
what route does a mad man take?

a pyschopath.
-faints-

anw, who can tell me what's lmao?

hmm.

OH, friendster has this 'who viewed me' section.
I WAS TOTALLY FREAKED OUT!
there were like so many strangers looking at my profile and i was totally unaware of it. it's like, the world is totally shrinked to a 4 sided computer screen. but i was quite relieved, perhaps even happy that now i know who's 'visiting' me, even though identities can still be hidden by simply remaining anonymous.

it did occur to me to close my friendster account,
cos' i thought it was simply too dangerous.
but i changed my mind,
cos' perhaps that's the only avenue,
i see life; constant movements and changes; and updates.
sitting down or standing up;
let it be. let me be.

sch was fun with only 3 of us attending PE, 9 came to sch, 8 attended lit and econs and 1 jaslyn attending mr chew's maths class.
fabulous.

singapore is going to become a NO SMOKING COUNTRY
bye smokers. bye friendster's hates => backstabbers, liars and smokers.
bye lung cancer.
it's time to quit. and lead a yellowless teeth life. ((:

haha. soon they will have to smoke in this room as small as toilet cubicle and queueing for a number for their 3 secs of freedom! ((:

haha.

i am gng mad.
7 more days to my BIRTHDAY! -beams-

i'm going to be SEVENTEEN!
it's time to act my age ((: a lady and a leader of tomorrow ((:

today, i realised strawberry venezia icecream tastes BERRYGOOD
and crescent girls' is REALLYREALLYREALLY darnCOOL

i love to see life in your life.

and

i love to see mine dwindling on the same spot.


'days after days, eons after eons,'
i am still the same.

i can't stop myself from havin' reminiscence of the past. tell me who can shut herself from all thoughts, guilt pangs and sadness and not feel a single thing? tell me who? it's hard not to feel the relativism and seriously, i can't stop harping on it. i can't. if i could, i would be much better off.

it's ok, it's alright.

life's still good ((:
cause... cause...
i see life as merely life.
literally.

((:

i miss lots of pple. esp, my kfc friends.
seriously
)):




"So tell me why do I have to explain myself baby, ey
Cuz girl you gotta admit that there's nothing more for me to say
Ooh yeay"
-craig david (I Don't Love You) No More

i am sick of colours.

sigh.

"Vanity is an appearance, burying our emptiness
Is there more to life than eating and drinking?
What lies beyond the present pain and suffering?"

Life:

is it more than just fun and party?

is it to push yourself headstrong against all sufferings?

is it just simply a rollercoaster ride?


was readin the purpose driven life. not that i agreed everything the writer wrote.
but it sets me thinking.
how u perceive life, is how it will turn out to be.
if u see life as a party,
ur life will most likely turn out to be one that is
filled with meaningless worldly pleasures.

sigh.
this world is changing so fast that i am so afraid.
what's the point of laws and restrictions,
when teenagers aren't even afraid of breaking a single one.

worldings,
fear God, and follow His ways.


"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the LORD,
she shall be praised."
Proverbs 31:30

i'm in love with this verse ((:

I AM SO PISSED OFF!
RAH!

i can't stand the 9pm show on channel 8. it's such an evil show. they should make it PG or NC16 man. it's TOTALLY unsuitable for kids!! evil doctors. evil scientists. -screams-

doctors = life savers?
we need to question the roles of various occupations once again.
are we going against basic human rights, social values for the sake of wealth, acheivements and status? are economic success more important than abiding with social values?

SIGH.

i am going to mug.
)):

i LOVE stating an overgenralising statement.
-guys are so redundant.
ROAR


`I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far
-kelly clarkson because of you.
[heard that this song is written for her mum. ]

oh i saw slyvester sim again.

anothervirtual eyecandy! i found her on www.gettyimages.com

SHE'S FREAKING HOT!

OGGLES! ((:

HAHA!

i refused to study. -procrastinate-
i tried to make my online time super useful, so i got a new
BLOGSKIN!
nice? HAHA!
ilove it ((:
my blog finally got a little colours! ((:

lala!
i shall go and mug soon. soon ((:

haha. i'm in happymood
cos' i ate swedish meatballs and chickenwings today!
-beams-

i finally got kellyclarkson's because of you song ((:
from layneyap ((:

this entry is damn bimbo.
HAHA!
whateverr.

i am going insane.
WHAHAHA!

got a new skin!

i made it myself.
HAHA ((:
but, i don't really like it.
but heck lah.

at elaineyap's hostel now!
this is damn cool lah. like NTU hostel!
but got no aircon, and it's a mugging stayover.
i am SO BORED
i am SO falling asleep studyin' econs )):

freaking pre-promos' life.

oh. pw was stressful. esp, dng the written report.
we were like rushin' to kaijie's place after sch at 5.20pm and busy rushing through written report.
we were plannin to leave at 8pm, but there was HEAPS of stuff to be done, so we left at 1o.
kj's mum is super nice! she bought so much food for us!
-beams- ((:
i'm so easily bribed.

((:

there's so much to be done,
but there's so little time
and so little determination
sigh.
wonder how am i gng to be promoted.
)):


u see, now depression dawn upon me no more.
my heart has harden.
so quickly.
i am numbed.
'stupor sadness' [Ted Hughes]

ilove ted hughes.

perhaps,
dwellin' in misery brings more peace.
but whatan irony.

but my point is,
when we are in misery, we constantly reflect on
what we've done, what we are doin' and what we are goin' to do.
we become more aware of what we should do to be safe, to be away from more miseries.

now, i feel life bearable.
or perhaps, just tryin to be really happy.
or perhaps
i ain't feelin' anything now. rather stressful tho'
ihatepw[this is random]
it's this monotony in school, in life.

but u see, i am fine.
really fine.
((:

there's a rising numbers of people contracting dengue fever
what's with the mosquito?
sigh )):

zhisheng passed me a self-help book and it cheered me up.
so i went to borrow more self-help books.

self-help is essential.
and i guess,
i'm the only one who can bring myself thru all these shit.
with God.


`I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Philippians 4:13 (King James Version)

HAPPINESS! ((:
happiness!
theyareMYHAPPINESS! ((:
this is what happened when we've a stayover!
pictures, pictures AND MORE pictures!

i feel dumb implementing my revamp plan this week!
there's NO SCHOOL AT ALL!
what's the point! RAHHHH!
haha! but this week is happy week.
dora asked me again, "don't u realised we are the happiest durin' the holidays?"
she's so dumb, she's askin' the obvious! :D

ifeelgood, lalalalala~

my friends are floodin me with forwarded msges,
askin me to be happy.
they reallyreally think i'm DEPRESSED
but cool,
they remember ME! ((: -beams-

sigh. sunday is coming, therefore monday is coming, and i will get my monday blues again.but this time, i will and IWILL study harder.
seriously!!

like whateverr.

HAHA!




`long gone.
and never to be retrieved.

"Pain, pain, so much pain!
And from it, what do we gain?
We hold it in and try to conceal
All the emotion that we feel.
When someone tries to help us find release
We run, we hide, afraid to face what might bring peace.
But the Lord says, come and I will give
The help, the healing and all you need.
He will bear our pain and take our cares.
He will lift us up and bring repair.
Upon the cross He took it all.
We only need to listen to His call.
Especially when we stumble and fall.
We somehow think we have to earn
His forgiveness and love, if only we could learn
When all we need do is come on bended knee.
Humble ourselves, He’ll set us free!"

`If you leave, I won't cry
I won't waste a single day
But if you leave, don't look back
I'll be running the other way

if it's so,
then let it be.


went to one of the classes of ntss' bbq.
it was SUPER amusing to see a bunch of very rowdy people.
it was so fun for them :D
and i can't help to feel the relativism in my life.
i need so much more fun.
but ya, no one says that jc life will be filled with fun )):
thanks for inviting me, mel ((:
haha. and i saw some old friends, bryan and chinchye.
:D

met pi at the bbq
i am so proud of him man ((:
seriously! ((:
it's good to be confident.
that's the most corageous thing i've even see u dng! ((:




it's amazing how emotions work. with a snap of the finger and determination, one can make the heart stop yearning, stop fantasising and stop all outpouring emotions.
it's amazing how God do wonders.
but perhaps, perhaps.
it's something one will never regret havin'.

had a sleepover at xl's place!
another impromptu sleepover -beams-
had mugging sessions [forced by xl's mum]
and scv marathons with shows like
friends, one tree hill, faking it, 101 sensational fashion crimes.
HAHA!
it was super funny lah!
i nv hear so much comments abt tv shows before
and macs delivery for supper at like 12am
-beams-
sleepovers are so fun!
xl's bed rawks! ((:
trio rawks!

anddddd we woke up late
so lyd just ponned all her lessons.
then we went to take neoprints
-double beams- ((:
xl's place has so much food. i feel like a pig
cos' i was practically eatin, slppin, studyin n watchin tv.
whatalife

can't wait for promos to be over!
so we can just chill at xl's place without havin e muggin sessions!!

anw,
i hate loser guys.
and my class has one
whataloser.
`beaman, dotherightthing
sorry fellow classmate

4 days under revamped.
life is still ok. bearable.
thus,
lets -beams-

dear friend,
we all loveyou!

'What shall we then say to these things?
If God be for us, who can be against us?
He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect?

It is God that justifieth.

Who is he that condemneth?

It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.'
Romans 8:31-39
(frm aunty lee choo)

Amen.


thank God for strength and faith that He hath graciously given to us.
Let us not use our deceitful hearts to question His will.
For His way is best.