i realised i don't really blogged about my church friends and stuff and part of the reason why is because so much have changed and my many church friends have become only lydia and lydia alone.

we started as trio at vbs.
and now we are only left with assorted pastors from various churches and only me and lyd.

i was talking to someone online the previous day and thoughts of changing church overwhelmed us. however, finding a church with the same doctrines, same worship, same fellowship (if there were one to start with) is seemingly difficult. furthermore, we are already so accustomed to the church and starting afresh in a new church maybe be very challenging for those who grew up in it.

i used to tell xinlin, "i will grow old with you in church and my kids will call you, "auntie chock""

how often are we so short-sighted in our vision?
how often are we too engrossed with the present and forget about the various hindrances that will occur in the future?
that's the reason why there are so many broken promises and forgotten dreams.

anyway, that's totally not the point.
the point is that i enjoyed church today.

pastor lau came back to the pulpit after a very long hiatsu. he seemed older and older as he stood at the pulpit. i can vaguely see his desperation and despair as he preached and as he acknowledged that fact that these are the few rare occassion that he's going to minister to his once beloved.

and no matter what's your situation, your calling is to serve God

so he preached abt praying for God's preserving mercy and truth.
his sermon was a stark contrast to that youth pastor who sang and played guitar during the famine camp.

anw, i talked to edward on the way to church. he's funny.
bali-ing and surfing. what an enjoyable life ((:

phebe and eunice are so very cute :D
i assumed that've enjoyed church camp a lot a lot :D

what i like about uncle kerming is that he can be very serious and also very laid back and sometimes, i really cant keep up with his sense of humour. his life is filled with many different experiences and most importantly, he was an ex njc-ian!

part of me wants to leave church but part of me wants to stay. it's like a dilemna.
it's not fair to say that fe didn't help me grow in Christ, cos' it really did. but everything changes and it changes so quickly that i am afraid, i am unstable, i am withdrawing and i finally realised how vulnerable the church and human life can be under satan's assult after pastor cheah's death.

i think his death has greatly struck the church, the lives of many churchmates and also mine.
maybe my faith is still too small to really see God's way, but i still believe for His way is best.

so many things to reminiscene, so many points that have been learnt and to learn
but on a serious note, i really miss having church as trio

i still rem there was this time when i dreamt that trio went to church together and when i woke up, i shed tears. that day in school, i went to find xinlin and tell her how much i miss her and i shed tears again.
at that moment when i woke up, it was like from heaven to hell.

anw, i really like taking pictures now, just in case i am dying soon.
did i tell you that i am having a very bad stomach since godknowswhen?

i am loving and craving for kfc recently under the influence of my dearest qilingbabe! :D
it's finger lickin' good




when it's time to let go, are you sure you are willing to go?
take me with you Lord.