.let go. let be. let God

i just did the most bizarre thing in the entire universe.
and if i did get any response, virtual might become reality.

please knock some sense into me.
argh.

i always wondered, how can anyone like 2 person simultaneously?
is the person just testing the waters to see which one will respond to he/she faster or which one does he/she prefer more? however, through the process, it's always the one being left behind who will be suffering.

one can proclaimed how much he/she likes a person but on the other hand he/she is trying to get close to another person?
isn't this love (can it be even call love) so warped?

men's hearts are fickle. the human brains are fickle too.
qiling said guys forget promises easily and i agree with her too.

i think the improvements of general standard living of the world lead to the degradation of virtues.
how many times do we sacrifice principalities, beliefs, virtues for economic advancements?
perhaps once, perhaps twice or even maybe all the times.

i feel so ashamed. so guilty. so humiliated to be part of this human race.
where evil doers thrive and sin permeates through all acts and reasons.
even basic human instincts to love and like are being corrupted by superficiality and insincerity.

i am no philip larkin who at least believe "what will survive of us is love"
cos' i believe what will survive of the human race are power, fame, glory and wealth and these are also the reason why human race will eventually fall.

i am skeptical. i am disgusted. i am actually afraid.
i am fearful and wary.

anw, i did badly for my philip larkin's an arundel tomb )):
"almost instinct almost true
what will survive of us is love"
(so warped)

i thought i wouldn't care but now i am thinking why did you do that do me?

i shall tranverse old hurting domain never again.
good luck to the virtual domain

dang.