it really didn't help.

i realised i am timid. i dare not step into the unventured.

i always have this urge of quiting school and just settle down in some private college like jean. it sounds great isn't it? a lighter workload, less-packed scheldule. a precise and focused course.

no more econs. no more maths. and no more lit.
all these are just my means to my end. to get into the course i want in the university.

i don't see myself touching integration or differentiation in the distant future.
neither do i picture myself drawing average cost and marginal revenue curves.
and definitely not going around criticising any book.
my basic definition of a good read is a book that makes me think and not make me sleep.

i am a coward cos' i do not dare to put down what i've been doing for these past 1 year plus and move on to a private college. i don't even dare to put this message forth to my parents.

my future seems terribly bleak now.
all thanks to ms t eo.

where are my supports?
i see no one, no thing.

there used to be an avenue for my to whine and trash things out.
though i always get back all the shit.
at least, it makes me feel better. just being with you.

i can't wait. can you?
can't wait for this week to end. can't wait for next next week to end.
can't wait for this year to end. can't wait for my life to end.

Can I be your enemy
Losing half a year
Waiting for you here
I'd be your anything

This may never start
Tearin' out my heart
I'd be your memory
Lost your sense of fear
Feelings disappear
Can I be your memory?
sugercult - memory