forcing back the fierce tears.

sometimes i feel that i shldn't work anymore.
it's somehow quite a toil for me.
it's more of a emotional trauma then a physical one.

imagine yourself not being able to understand 1/4 of their sense of humour and to communicate with them in chinese half of the time.
it's quite sad for me to see them trying hard to switch to english mode to speak to me.
and erm,
i don't know.

but work is still challenging to me.
i wanna be faster, wanna be stronger.
i still like the adrenaline pumps when the banquet starts.
perhaps, i just need excitement which i really lack in school.

i think most of the bus drivers are out to give me a hard time.
this year, i have experienced twice when the bus drivers just happily passed my stop w/0 letting me off though i have ALREADY pressed the bell.
and they always pick the best time,
when i am MAJOR MOODSWINGING
they just want me to fall on my knees and cry myself a river.

today, i was on the verge of breaking down a thousand of times.
but the tears seem to like STUCK there.
like constipation man. damnit.

and today was such an unlucky day.
damn the hot weather in the noon
damn the pouring rain in the evening.

anw, funorama was crowded.
gin: WHA! it's like MANGO sales man!
yeah. and we concluded that rich people hang out with rich people.
and jean is damn aunty lah
jean: i will not let XXJC which is damn freaking rich to suck up my money.
and she's from XXJC for first 3 mths. XXJC-ians go kill her man!!
haha.
but i met a lot of old friends! :D



`i just feel that no one bloody care whether i am dead or alive.