i was depressed last night. the night before
and since forever.
i have completely no idea when on earth
did i fully submit myself to agony and pain
i am so not going to surrender to this depression state.
but... but...
but i think it's failing me. perhaps, i am failing it.

i am so lost.
i am so confused, so immatured.
in fact, i think i'm melting into nothing now.
i was living in the past.
ystd, today and forever and ever.

if only. if only.
time will turn back.
i think i would have been better off.
turn till like 5-6 mths back.
life was still good.

went for band today.
and i just simply moodswing-ed like no one's business.
i looked all over me. musicians from all schools.
here am i, the one who was pursuing the crescent dream
and there are they. looking for their new worlds now.
i was so affected, these are the people who
ain't those who pursue the crescent dream with me. they
ain't those who share a common vision with me
ain't those who are willing to stand by me. be my friend.
so i just burst up crying.
or maybe weeping.
[annie can't cry so openly, it must be done in discreet]

i am so gng to have an emtional breakdown
if i am gng to moodswing at this rate.

HAHA.
this is hilarious.

sigh.

`put on a mask, when school starts again
[sing to the tune of 'wake me up when september ends']


perhaps,
we are not meant to be.