i reckon that i am climbing out of the bottomless pit
that i have dug.
tho every step i take, i am sliding backwards,
but i still think i'm making a remarkable improvement.
-crossing fingers.

trying so hard to pretend
that i don't feel the pain within.
trying so hard to put on the megawatt smile
that i wanna give to everyone
trying so hard to remind myself
that the f- exams are coming.
trying so hard to tell myself
to get a good grip and to get a life.
trying so hard to turn back time so
that i will nv hear the truth, the words from u.
trying so hard to not regret
the foolish acts i have done.
trying so hard to acknowledge
that i am wrong, so very wrong.
and after so long,
i finally see the courage i have in me
by 'shoving my pride in my drawer
and locking my dignity in the toilet.'
[quoted by gin]



`` i am a 'Girl of New Destiny.'